Some come, some go......and The Holy Grail

The one thing that I have learned through this journey, is that friendships change. I used to think that I had a lot of friends...I think everyone thinks this. But we don't. Well, let me clarify.

There are 4 levels of friendships:

1). The Pseudo-Social Friendship:  These are the people that you see and hang out with at social scenes. Could be school functions, work functions, friends homes.  You are cordial and enjoy a few laughs. But, rarely, if EVER do you socialize outside of these scenes.

2).  The Good-Time Friendships:  We ALL have these. If you think you don't, just wait.... you'll figure them out soon enough.   These are the friends that seem to always have a great time. They are just little rays of sunshine.... as long as you are aboard their train.  The minute you challenge the conductor, or the destined path of travel, that train derails. Crash and Burn. While these friendships appear as "BFF" relationships..... they are actually "BFFALAYDWIW" FRIENSHIPS.....(Best Friends Forever As Long As You Do What I Want friendships).  You know the type.  The ones that claim to be your "bestest-bestie-best" friend........ until you "piss"  them off. Then 1 of 2 things happen... you don't put them first and they freak, or, you no longer "fit in" to their "cookie cutter" ideal world. .  Either way, don't waste too much time at this train wreck. Book another itinerary. "Crisis" brings these friends to the surface.... but only short term.

3).  The I've known you FOREVER, but only keep in touch on Facebook or social media sites Friendship:  Now, I'm not knocking these friendships.  They are a GREAT balance in life. They serve great purpose. These social sites provide escape from reality... kind of like the t.v. sitcoms I grew up with.  Many of these friends know some pretty funny stuff about you... and could probably share some of your deepest, darkest secrets... but , they are friends. You enjoy the occasional  interaction. The camaraderie. Great that technology keeps us together. But, that's about the extent. These friendships can move in and out of the next category at any given time, without  penalties!

4).  The "I don't care what time it is, how far away you live, I will Drop everything and be there ASAP" Friendship.   This, by far, is the rarest of all friendships. The Holy Grail. If you are lucky enough to be blessed with a friendship like this... grab ahold with both hand and hold on with all your might. These are the friends that understand and cherish your relationship. The ones that know no matter what is going on, you will not judge, nor will they judge you. You only want the best for each other, and you don't mince words. You can be 100% true, natural and uncensored. And they will still be there tomorrow.


My heart attack, and what has followed makes it easy to see these categories. The journey to the realization that if it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck, it's a duck... has been eye opening. Friendships defined themselves.  Quickly. Surprisingly.

I am reminded of those wacky videos where you are watching..anticipating the finale... only to be completely caught off guard at the actual ending. Yep. Sometimes fiction is better. We never stop making friends. We never forget our old ones. What WE DO, figure out, eventually, is what our limits are. Exactly whom do we  want to spend our quality time with?  Life is short. Certainly, much too short to waste it on meaningless friendships.

So choose. Choose  wisely. Make time for those friends whom make you feel like a million bucks, they Accept who you are, faults and all, and will be those friends you will cherish. And, just because you've seen that derailed train first hand, keep your heart open to new friendships. You never know where that new friendship will go....

If you are fortunate to have a handful of true god friends, consider yourself blessed.  I've got my "Mamas", and I thank God for them. They have seen my good and my bad.... and they are still here. I am blessed. They ARE the HOLY GRAIL of friends!!