Betty White Humor and Heart Disease

Betty White and Heart Disease and Strokes

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Betty White is one of my all-time favorite actresses.  Her whit and humor is spot on.  I envy her ability to throw the "innocent" remarks while keeping a straight face.  Won't ever catch me playing poker with her.  She is an amazing comedian with an amazing heart.

• What isn't funny, however, is Heart Disease. According to the CDC and the American Heart Association.  About 600,000 people die of heart disease in the United States every year–that’s 1 in every 4 deaths.¹

Heart disease is the leading cause of death for both men and women. More than half of the deaths due to heart disease in 2009 were in men.¹

Coronary heart disease is the most common type of heart disease, killing more than 385,000 people annually.¹

Every year about 715,000 Americans have a heart attack. Of these, 525,000 are a first heart attack and 190,000 happen in people who have already had a heart attack.²

Coronary heart disease alone costs the United States $108.9 billion each year.³ This total includes the cost of health care services, medications, and lost productivity

Stroke kills almost 130,000 Americans each year—that’s 1 out of every 19 deaths.¹

On average, one American dies from stroke every 4 minutes.²

Every year, more than 795,000 people in the United States have a stroke.

These diseases are silent. Please, urge your family and friends to become educated on the signs.

While Betty White makes us laugh, Heart Disease , Strokes and death is are no laughing matters.

Paintings, Matthew and Tweedle Dee.....and the one word which makes all the difference.

     There is this famous artist. His paintings seems simple enough at a glance. Serene. But the longer you stare at his work, the more it comes to life. A painting within painting. Story within a story. Nothing which was seen before this discovery, is ever seen again in quite the same light. And yet, the painting hasn't changed. It is still the same painting. The only manipulative here, is your own perspective. The angle in which you view the painting, gives it life.  If you have ever been to an art gallery, such as the MFA in Boston, you will observe people standing and staring at a work of art. Then watch a bit longer, and you will see them move angles, take a step or two backwards. And stare.  In this once serene painting, you begin to see alternate images. Meanings. A bit more clarity, even.

     In Matthew 7:15, we learn to beware of false prophets which come to you in sheep's clothing, but inwardly, they are ravenous wolves.  Certain that he wasn't speaking of paintings, we can be assured he was speaking of human nature. The people whom intentionally mislead and deceive, for their own personal gain. Unfortunately, we all know these folks. The ones that lead you to believe that they are "looking out for you and/or your best interest.... when in fact, they have alternative motives. Mostly, their own success, or game changer.

     But then again, Tweedle Dee gives his logic, "Contrariwise, if it was so, it might be; and if it were so, it would be; but as it isn't, it ain't. That's logic.”

So, nothing is always as it seems. Blurry vision....blurred perspective. 
In the grand scheme of life, the only perspective you need worry about is the one that keeps you at peace. True and honest. The one that causes you to treat others with kindness and respect. Respect for differences in opinion, likes and dislikes, religion, politics. 

Respect.

A simple word with so much meaning.

Where am I?

Remember those scenes in the movies....someone is awakening in the hospital...the camera is shooting from that person's perspective? You can see the blurriness that they are experiencing, and see the confusion on their face. 

I used to think this was always in the movies.  Until I awoke from the heart attack and the surgery to place 2 stents that followed.

Such a strange feeling.  I opened my eyes to see my husband. Standing over me with a very strange look, teary almost. I had absolutely no idea what was happening, nor where I was. All I could see was blur. Of course, since my glasses were not on, this probably was even more distorted than usual..but very surreal.

There, in front of me, was the face that I have known for so many years. The face of comfort and security. The face that I couldn't have been happier to see.  However, unlike the movies, when someone wakes up and instantly figures out where they are and knows what has happened, I lay there in utter confusion.

I hear my husband, Brad, telling me that I am in the hospital and that I've had a heart attack. Nope. Doesn't register. I'm tired. Can't talk. Can't keep my eyes open. Too confusing. Drifting off......

The next time I awake, it's the same conversation. In fact, it's that same conversation every time I open my eyes.  For many , many , many conversations. Days. I'm certain that my husband really wanted to smack me, after all, I would've smacked myself!

Time was gone. Reality, gone. Day was night, night was day. I'm certain it didn't help having nurses in and out at all hours...but, still.....it probably wouldn't have mattered.  Every day, my husband would write on the wall's erasable board, the day of the week and the date. His information and where the kids were and who they were with.  And every time I would open my eyes, I would have to re-read the board. Several times. Sometimes it would register, other times, not so much.

 I never forgot about my family. Ever. God blessed me with this.  Everything else went to hell in a hand-basket. But, He gave me my family back.

Some come, some go......and The Holy Grail

The one thing that I have learned through this journey, is that friendships change. I used to think that I had a lot of friends...I think everyone thinks this. But we don't. Well, let me clarify.

There are 4 levels of friendships:

1). The Pseudo-Social Friendship:  These are the people that you see and hang out with at social scenes. Could be school functions, work functions, friends homes.  You are cordial and enjoy a few laughs. But, rarely, if EVER do you socialize outside of these scenes.

2).  The Good-Time Friendships:  We ALL have these. If you think you don't, just wait.... you'll figure them out soon enough.   These are the friends that seem to always have a great time. They are just little rays of sunshine.... as long as you are aboard their train.  The minute you challenge the conductor, or the destined path of travel, that train derails. Crash and Burn. While these friendships appear as "BFF" relationships..... they are actually "BFFALAYDWIW" FRIENSHIPS.....(Best Friends Forever As Long As You Do What I Want friendships).  You know the type.  The ones that claim to be your "bestest-bestie-best" friend........ until you "piss"  them off. Then 1 of 2 things happen... you don't put them first and they freak, or, you no longer "fit in" to their "cookie cutter" ideal world. .  Either way, don't waste too much time at this train wreck. Book another itinerary. "Crisis" brings these friends to the surface.... but only short term.

3).  The I've known you FOREVER, but only keep in touch on Facebook or social media sites Friendship:  Now, I'm not knocking these friendships.  They are a GREAT balance in life. They serve great purpose. These social sites provide escape from reality... kind of like the t.v. sitcoms I grew up with.  Many of these friends know some pretty funny stuff about you... and could probably share some of your deepest, darkest secrets... but , they are friends. You enjoy the occasional  interaction. The camaraderie. Great that technology keeps us together. But, that's about the extent. These friendships can move in and out of the next category at any given time, without  penalties!

4).  The "I don't care what time it is, how far away you live, I will Drop everything and be there ASAP" Friendship.   This, by far, is the rarest of all friendships. The Holy Grail. If you are lucky enough to be blessed with a friendship like this... grab ahold with both hand and hold on with all your might. These are the friends that understand and cherish your relationship. The ones that know no matter what is going on, you will not judge, nor will they judge you. You only want the best for each other, and you don't mince words. You can be 100% true, natural and uncensored. And they will still be there tomorrow.


My heart attack, and what has followed makes it easy to see these categories. The journey to the realization that if it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck, it's a duck... has been eye opening. Friendships defined themselves.  Quickly. Surprisingly.

I am reminded of those wacky videos where you are watching..anticipating the finale... only to be completely caught off guard at the actual ending. Yep. Sometimes fiction is better. We never stop making friends. We never forget our old ones. What WE DO, figure out, eventually, is what our limits are. Exactly whom do we  want to spend our quality time with?  Life is short. Certainly, much too short to waste it on meaningless friendships.

So choose. Choose  wisely. Make time for those friends whom make you feel like a million bucks, they Accept who you are, faults and all, and will be those friends you will cherish. And, just because you've seen that derailed train first hand, keep your heart open to new friendships. You never know where that new friendship will go....

If you are fortunate to have a handful of true god friends, consider yourself blessed.  I've got my "Mamas", and I thank God for them. They have seen my good and my bad.... and they are still here. I am blessed. They ARE the HOLY GRAIL of friends!!

Introducing a good friend, and a few tidbits......

Our good Friend, Nancy Parks, or as the kids refer to her, Auntsy Nancy, lived in Canada. A very long way from Tucson.  Our kids had gone to school with each other, and we had become great friends. Even at a distance, it never mattered. Seemed like no matter how much time had passed, we could pick right up and never miss a beat.

I met Nancy at our kids school. She was one of the Original "Mama's" that we spent time with. Other Moms, like still-great-friend, Maggie Cotton, Nancy, and others, spent many hours together as our kids grew up.  Our oldest kids were relatively the same age, and in many cases, in the same classes at school.  This gave us all an opportunity to become good friends, work on projects and committees at school, but most of all, spend fun times together.  I'll admit, yes, we drank a lot in those days, lots of pool parties and late nights, but we all knew we could count on each other in a moment's notice. And, we were all good friends.  Always good stories to tell! And a whole lot of laughter was shared!

That friendship hasn't changed.  The night of my heart attack, Nancy was far away. But only geographically.  Nancy communicated with my husband, Brad, every day, and kept a log on CaringBridge.com with updates on my progress.  These updates allowed many friends and family, near and far, to stay posted, without having to call.  I know that Brad was already overwhelmed with the status of things, and trying to keep the kids and himself all together.  I am thankful that "Auntsy Nancy" was able to lift some of the burden of communicating from his daily tasks.

Throughout this blog, you will read excerpts of those updates.  Not only were they helpful to those wanting to keep updated, but many months, and even years later, I read and re-read the posts.  I find myself seeking understanding.  It's funny.  As I read the posts, I am able to "fill in the blanks" from my perspective. This truly has allowed, and continues to allow, me to fit the pieces together.

Some days are easier than others. Some are harder. But, either way, I have DAYS.   These are blessings. Each and every one of them.

A little about how I got here.......

Well, here it goes............

There is nothing physically stopping me from starting this blog.  I guess you can say that the intimidation factor for me is a bit off the charts. 

However, if you know me, you know that I am very determined. Determined to succeed against all odds.  I've always been a bit of a fighter.

When I was 5, my Mother was killed in a car accident. I was the youngest of 6 kids, and fortunately, also had Grandparents that took us in to raise us.  I was the "baby" , and my siblings always took good care of me....yes, I know, we were 'siblings' and yes, we fought and rough housed, but we always had each other. Common loss causes pretty strong bonds.

In school, I was determined to succeed. After High School, I met the love of my life, Brad. We were married in 1987. We Lived in a remote area of the Navajo Indian Reservation for a few years. Learned that there are so many "sides" to everyone's stories. Life depicted in magazines and history books, is not necessarily accurate. This adventure forced me to see others in such a different light. We learned so much from this journey. Our "necessities" were really "luxuries" to those we lived amongst. Really put life into perspective.  This is a valuable lesson that continues to ring true so many years later.

Then we moved back home to Phoenix for a very short time, until we moved "temporarily" to Tucson. This was 22 years ago. So much for short term!

Turns out it was the best move we made. Here, we built our home, made great friends, and adopted 3 wonderful children.

Kevin, now 17, was our first. Adopted at 14 months old, he is nothing short of amazing. Brilliant and strong. He loves to read. Everything. He is a walking book of facts...an encyclopedia on size 12's.  Focused and rational like his Dad, spontaneous and determined like me. I cannot fathom that he will be going to College in another year. Makes me tear up.

Next came our two girls.  Siblings adopted at ages 1 1/2 and almost 3.  Kiara, the oldest of the two, is soft spoken, loves to read and is pretty simple. She enjoys the easy ways of life. A trait that is to be cherished and respected.  She loves to read, do crafts, play on the computer, make videos and just "be a kid".  Kiara is developmentally delayed, so while she is physically 14, she balances somewhere in between child and teen.  This can be refreshing....and yet, at the same time, frustrating for her, as well as the rest of us.  She will do great in life, though. She has a kind heart. Loves animals and sees the good in everyone. She doesn't know a stranger...human or animal.

The baby of the family, Keelan, now physically 12 1/2, also balances somewhere between child and teen.  She is a crack up. She is a mix of her Daddy's strong mind, my determination and a generous dash of love and tenderness.  Her heart puts the Grinch's growing heart to shame. She is 50% Diva, 30% Tomboy and 20% everyday girl....She is not timid, nor shy. She is tough, dominant, hard-headed, outspoken and determined.  I am certain that these traits will serve her well in her lifetime. She has a soft spot for the "underdogs" in the world, albeit animals or people.  She will give you the shirt off of her back...er..well, her sister's back, anyway.

Life, as we knew it, couldn't have been better. That is until, September 26, 2010.  This day, our lives changed. Forever.  After teaching Sunday School, we all went for a drive in our new mini van. A beautiful day outside. Upon returning home, we all prepared for the next school day. I retired to my craft room, where, after a short time, I began not feeling well.  I had been extremely tired over the past few weeks. So tired, that I had just gone to my Primary Care Physician on Friday to find out why. Lab results showed that my potassium levels were low, and the Dr. prescribed more vitamins to combat the loss of energy.

Long story, short, I began having a strange pain in my jaw. Quick to panic, I summoned my husband to get me my laptop and get me online. Lightening fast, he did. I frantically searched the web, especially WebMD, to determine the cause of the symptoms. Having worked as a Health Aid in the local school district, I was aware of what some of these signs could mean.

After researching, I was convinced that I was having a heart attack. My husband rushed me to the E.R., which is only a few minutes away. After waiting, and testing and waiting more, the E.R. staff couldn't determine anything wrong.  They had, however, determined that it might be in my best interest to remain in the care of the hospital overnight for observation.

What happened next was a shock to EVERYONE.  I went to restroom and upon returning, shook my dozing husbands arm and informed him that something wasn't right.

Well. It wasn't right. In fact, at that moment, I dropped dead from Sudden Cardiac Death. Yep. Dead.

According to my husband, it was like a scene in a movie. Doctors and nurses running here and there, calling out orders, performing CPR on me. Right there in the emergency room.  The world was in slow motion for him.  As for me, I had no idea what was going on. After all, my heart had stopped. I was DEAD.

 God was there. No doubt. I felt Him. I saw Him. I was held by Him. He was there. In the surgeon's hands. In his heart. In the staff that worked tediously to save my life. He was there in prayer. With my husband, my family. But He was WITH ME. By my side.

58 minutes passed. Terrorizing for my husband and family. But I knew nothing but calm and comfort. Until I woke up. Much Later.

When I awoke, I was intubated. I awoke with such wonder. Such confusion. But, by my side, was my husband. Tears in his eyes, but such strength. He tried to tell me what happened. But nothing made sense. So I slept. A lot.

The days and months following were and are still a blur. Days filled with sleep, Doctors appointments, Psychiatrists, Rehab. Exhausting. But, there, around the corner, was my family. My husband. My children. My sister (who moved in to help take care of my kids.)  Friends. Co-workers. Our Minister and Church Family.

Simply Amazing.

My story is long. And there is so much to still tell.  However, from the above, I hope you will get an idea of my journey. Where I have been, and where I am still to go.