Where am I?

Remember those scenes in the movies....someone is awakening in the hospital...the camera is shooting from that person's perspective? You can see the blurriness that they are experiencing, and see the confusion on their face. 

I used to think this was always in the movies.  Until I awoke from the heart attack and the surgery to place 2 stents that followed.

Such a strange feeling.  I opened my eyes to see my husband. Standing over me with a very strange look, teary almost. I had absolutely no idea what was happening, nor where I was. All I could see was blur. Of course, since my glasses were not on, this probably was even more distorted than usual..but very surreal.

There, in front of me, was the face that I have known for so many years. The face of comfort and security. The face that I couldn't have been happier to see.  However, unlike the movies, when someone wakes up and instantly figures out where they are and knows what has happened, I lay there in utter confusion.

I hear my husband, Brad, telling me that I am in the hospital and that I've had a heart attack. Nope. Doesn't register. I'm tired. Can't talk. Can't keep my eyes open. Too confusing. Drifting off......

The next time I awake, it's the same conversation. In fact, it's that same conversation every time I open my eyes.  For many , many , many conversations. Days. I'm certain that my husband really wanted to smack me, after all, I would've smacked myself!

Time was gone. Reality, gone. Day was night, night was day. I'm certain it didn't help having nurses in and out at all hours...but, still.....it probably wouldn't have mattered.  Every day, my husband would write on the wall's erasable board, the day of the week and the date. His information and where the kids were and who they were with.  And every time I would open my eyes, I would have to re-read the board. Several times. Sometimes it would register, other times, not so much.

 I never forgot about my family. Ever. God blessed me with this.  Everything else went to hell in a hand-basket. But, He gave me my family back.